on December 2015, I finally decided to go back home from China. Things at work were not working out as I imagined and the fact that I am missing home, and the necessity for me to be present with my family, strengthen my idea to fly back home as the soonest. I have no real plan of what am I going to do next when I arrived home. I have not applied for any jobs yet. However, my family and boyfriend supported my decision. Then I felt confirmed that this was the right thing to do.
by the end of 2015, I flew back home with mixed feelings, as you know, my life back then in China were not bad at all and I made some good friends as well. However, as I arrived, I felt so happy and welcomed by my beloved people. I went to see my parents in Tegal, spend the New Year’s eve with them and my boyfriend. I am grateful that my parents finally get to meet Andy in person, and I believe they like him.
but then when I came back to Jakarta, the reality started to hit me as I realized that I actually jobless. The worry started to get me. thank God, I finally get the job, which was actually something that I have never done or I never think that I would do. I am trusted to be in charge to import and establish a spirit product from China to Indonesia. I got excited as this enables me to learn more about doing business.
just a few days after I started working, I received a call from my mom that my father was suddenly in critical condition and asked me to come to Tegal. I took the train to Tegal immediately, however, my father passed away on my way there. I broke down on the train alone, I was so sad but relieved as well as he is in much better place now in Heaven.
The days afterwards were so full of headaches as I will need to be the rock for my family, my mom would not stand strong if she knew that I am actually sad, I also need to take care of the administration. My sister also flew in from Belgium and her husband also came few days after.
honestly, I haven’t really got a chance to personally mourn for my lost, so I would like to use my blog as a tool for me to express the unexpressed.
I do believe that everything happens for a reason, I could not imagine what if I haven’t got a chance to meet my father before he passed away. I am grateful that he got to meet Andy as well.
As many people said that I am pretty much like the resemblance of my father, we were pretty close and always a love-hate relationship, as I have mentioned in some of my blog posts about him. he is indeed one of the biggest part of my life.
As a father figure, I believe he has done his part. I believe that he has tried his best to do so. we have been through a lot, and I am glad that he found Jesus on his way. His plan for each of us is always amazing and I could not deny that He is able to change the life of a wretch into a vessel of His glory.
I will deeply miss his cheerfulness, creativity, intelligence, humbleness, and perseverance. Things that he has taught me through all this time. He has left the greatest legacy, which are me and my sister’s life. I hope that I can make him proud. and I am sorry if I have not been the world’s greatest daughter to you. I am grateful that I have taken my leap of faith, and it brought me to this moment. I know you love me so much, tho. I love you so much, too, Papa.
Selamat jalan, Papa. See you again when my time finishes here.
Love,
EAR
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