Please TRUST me!

I was so upset!

I'm almost 21. But why do my parents still treat me like I'm a teenager??
I don't like being the youngest. Always treated like the one in the family who will never grow up!

In certain situations they expect me to have a mature mindset and attitude.
But never give me a chance and trust me to EXPLORE myself, to LEARN bout things, freedom of thoughts.

Would you CARE of my opinion? Would you SEE me as the way I am now?
Hey, people can change!

Sorry if I'm being somewhat like keeping a distance from you lately. I can't stand the feeling of being untrusted, always looked at suspiciously, like I've done something bad. I want to feel secure at home. But it doesn't.
Everytime I reach home, feels like a criminal entering the house, not welcome feeling.
Everytime I have a plan or idea, always rejected and they thought it will go wrongly, but they never give me a better solution either.

FYI,
I am not a rebel, yet just trying to speak up my mind.
I am not that 'holy', if that how you measure holiness.
I am not lazy, I just don't know what I should do better.
I am not restraining myself from both of you, there's nothing I want more than spending family time together peacefully.
I am TIRED.. of hearing and listening the same old story. Even though that's the best that I can do.
But, I LOVE YOU all SO MUCH. I really do and I won't let you down (again). Trust me.

Fiuh...

~no worries, frens.. ^^ just want to let go this emotion~